Proceeding from the DSSA conference 05. What is important to us!

WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO US

Proceedings from DSSA Conference: South Africa 29 September 2005 Input from persons with Disabilities at their OWN conference

“Nothing About us Without us”

Our likes, dislikes and what we want  Love Sport  Hate being inside  Love being free and on the outside  Want world to know we feel strong, tuff and free  Can’t just mess with us  Participate in life  We think we are big and have a lot to say and give to the world  We want to do a lot in the world  Family is important and we want to be with our family  We do get scared and angry and sad but we are also happy  We want good relationships with men and women and the world  We want the world to know that we can feel, think and are free  Want the world to be kind to us  We want to be seen as individuals and if everyone was the same the world would be boring  We have dreams to become someone one day

Feelings and relationships

 Love, friendships and relationships are important  Important to love the right person  First friendship then love  Relationships must start slowly, no rush and must trust  Want choices and long-term relationships  We must be careful of abuse and we must speak up loud when there is abuse in our relationships  We need to have relationships for the right reasons NOT money, abuse etc  There can be jealousy in between people  There should be a free choice whether to marry or not (50%:50) for practical reasons (eg financial)  Love, lots of it to give and receive  Happy to be here and doing these things  Love for families and friends  Want to be loved and cared for by family  “Have a wonderful girlfriend who looked deep into my eyes and fell in love. God will help us be strong”  Thankful to those who care for us  All agreed that relationships are good 100%

What need to change?

 We feel the staff in care centres prevent us from having relationships (too many rules and “watching”)  Staff also “skinner” about us even if we are just friends  It is a problem to have relationships if one person is living “Ïnside” and the other “Outside”  People laugh at us, don’t want to be with us and don’t ask what we can and can’t do  Workshops need to be caring so that we can express ourselves  Help us to be happy and express our feelings and emotions  Disabled people need to talk out to change the way people see and treat them

Advocacy and the world of work

 People must encourage our dreams  We are self- motivated and have ambition to learn, achieve and belong  Need jobs to feel good and contribute, want proper jobs, pay and will work hard.  Accept us as people first, don’t see the disability first  We can cope with things, we are doing well  Don’t call us names it causes pain, causes people to give up and go to jail  We have skills even if we can’t read and write  Communities who also struggle can support  We are all different and unique and want to be treated like that  Respect is a two way street, we show it so must others  Want to be financially independent  Want job outside  Want people to be as honest with us as we are with them  We need to be understood and not judged and labelled  Don’t make excuses, do the right thing  WHY WHY WHY …question the decisions made about you!!!

Communication

 DON’T WALK AWAY WHEN WE ARE TALKING, it makes us think you think what we say is not important  Want people to listen to us because we are disabled and not treat us like we don’t know what’s going on around us.  Communication is important between people and that can move mountains  “It seems people think we have “squat” to say that is important because we are disabled. They must listen to us.”